Authors Matthew Boggs and Jason Miller interviewed couples around the U.S. that have been married for 40 years or more for their book Project Everlasting. Here are some key pieces of advice they found to keep your marriage fresh even as the fashions in your wedding video go out of style:
Marriage Masters believe that divorce is not an option except in cases of adultery, addiction or abuse. When you approach your marriage with that level of commitment, they believe you can overcome any obstacle.
Perfection doesn’t exist. The best partners practice patience and give the acceptance they want in return. This includes the little things like leaving the toilet seat up and the bigger things like parenting issues.
They talk about what is bothering them. Annoyances can turn into frustrations and frustrations into resentment. Marriage masters create an environment where open communication and honest expression is respected and appreciated. By airing their issues they are able to overcome issues and create stronger bonds.
Marriage Masters continue to date. They schedule intentional time to focus on their partner, without the interruption from work, kids, phones or anything else that would pull their attention away from each other.
Marriage is more about giving than receiving. In successful marriages, both spouses understand this to be fundamental. Marriage is 60% giving and 40% taking, by both parties.
Life is short – and Marriage Masters know this. It’s easy to get caught up in the day-to-day so they intentionally (there’s that word again) make sure they enjoy their time together.
Marriage Masters respect their spouses. That respect creates trust, connection and deeper love.